Fullmetal Alchemist on the Oregon Trail
by MattsyKun
Summary: I named the Oregon Trail people after FMA characters and then wrote journals for them. it took a while. The first three times Roy died, and once he died on the same day as Riza... very funny and random!
1. Roy Mustang

**Mustang's Oregon Trail Journal**

_MattsyKun: I don't own the Oregon Trail, I just have a copy of The Oregon Trail 2. I also don't own FMA or Kaminari, because Kaminari is my friend's character. She is a State Alchemist and also Jean Havoc's 18 year old sister. Melody is my character. She's also a state alchemist and is Roy's 15 year old sister. She's a flame alchemist like her brother. Gasp gasp… that's a lot._

_Roy: Why did you start this?_

_MattsyKun: because the last three times I played you died. Edward died the day you started out on one, on another you and Riza died on the same day. I thought it would be funny to do journal on Roy's adventures on the Oregon Trail. This last time you got a really high score! And nobody died! Everyone was at perfect health! That's a new record for me!_

_Roy: Must you insist on torturing me? (Chibi)_

_MattsyKun: yes. Aww, you're chibi! (GLOMP)_

(When words are italicized, that means Roy wrote them in the journal. Everybody else just so happens to be reading it.)

**April 30, 1848**

Here begins the journal of Roy, formerly a banker. Tomorrow we leave Kanesville behind to begin our journey west to Rogue River Valley. We must still purchase the supplies that our Conestoga wagon will hold to sustain us during our long trek.

I hope that my skill in commerce/trade will prove of some value.

**May 1, 1848**

Took advantage of the package deal offered to me. What a relief not to have to shop for all that individually!

Saw a headline today: Irish Unrest Grows in Wake of Potato Famine

Purchased 2 boxes of 20 bullets, 3 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder, 1 rifle.

Purchased 675 pounds of bacon, 29 pounds of celery, 40 pounds of cheese, 130 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit, 105 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables, 175 pounds of ham, 75 5-lb. tins of preserved potatoes, 55 pounds of salt pork.

Purchased 6 canteens, 1 fishing net, 1 fishing pole, 1 fishing spear, 1 frying pan, 1 hunting knife, 1 kettle, 1 lantern, 1 pick ax, 1 30-foot length of rope, 1 set of cooking utensils, 1 set of eating utensils, 1 shovel, 2 water kegs.

Purchased 10 pairs of boots, 6 pairs of mittens, 6 winter coats, 6 winter scarves.

Purchased 5 8-oz. bottles of alum, 5 16-oz. bottles of ammonia, 5 16-oz. boxes of borax, 5 16-oz. bottles of brandy, 5 8-oz. bottles of camomile, 5 4-oz. bottles of camphor, 5 16-oz. bottles of castor oil, 5 8-oz. jars of dandelion, 5 8-oz. boxes of Dover's Powder, 5 8-oz. bottles of Duffy's Elixir, 5 12-oz. bottles of Epsom salts, 5 4-oz. bottles of iodine, 5 16-oz. bottles of isopropyl alcohol, 5 4-oz. boxes of James Fever Powder, 5 8-oz. bottles of linseed oil, 5 16-oz. bottles of olive oil, 5 4-oz. bottles of peppermint, 5 4-oz. bottles of sarsaparilla, 5 6-oz. bottles of sassafras, 5 4-oz. bottles of spearmint, 5 16-oz. bottles of turpentine, 5 gallon jugs of whiskey, 5 8-oz. bottles of witch hazel.

Purchased 6 blankets, 10 dozen candles, 25 boxes of matches, 10 10-bar boxes of soap.

Purchased 15 oxen. _Holy crap this is a lot!_

Purchased 2 8-oz. jars of aloe Vera, 6 4-oz. bottles of calomel, 3 4-oz. bottles of capsicum, 6 8-oz. bottles of hydrogen peroxide, 4 4-oz. bottles of ipecac, 4 6-oz. bottles of lecithin, 6 12-oz. bottles of magnesia, 6 4-oz. bottles of quinine.

Purchased 1 large farm wagon, 1 spare wagon axle, 1 spare wagon tongue, 1 spare wagon wheel.

In good spirits today; got as far as Kanesville Crossing of the Missouri River.

Given the price, we will take the ferry.

Nooned at Winter Quarters.

_Man, we bought a lot today. We should be all set to set out on the trail!_

_Buying all of that stuff was hell! Hell I tell ya! But it will all be worth it in the end, right imouto (little sister)?_

"Uh huh, Nii-san!" Melody, Roy's 15-year-old little sister, agreed.

_I don't know why we bought the matches, though. I have my gloves... right? Yeah I have my gloves, but hey, you never now._

"Po-ta-to!" Melody said randomly.

_(Sweatdrop)_

**May 2, 1848**

Got a late start; passed Elkhorn River.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

**May 3, 1848**

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 59 pounds of bacon; 8 pounds of cheese; 7 pounds of coffee beans; 4 10-lb. sacks of cornmeal; and various other items.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 148 pounds of meat.

_Uh, oh, we lost some stuff. Oh, well, it's all good!_

**May 4, 1848**

Mr. Lumare figured we would reach Liberty Pole today, and he was right.

**May 5, 1848**

It was extremely foggy early today. We figured it was best to continue as usual.

**May 7, 1848**

Arrived at Pawnee Village today.

Traded 4 10-lb. sacks of cornmeal for 5 5-lb. slabs of lard.

_Eww, who wants to eat lard?_

Tristan: I do!

_Anyone besides Tristan?_

Tristan: I do! (1)

_Wait, who the hell are you?_

**May 8, 1848**

Today we have traveled 100 miles.

Melody came down with cholera. We've got to administer laudanum.

_NOOO! MY DEAR LITTLE SISTER HAS CHOLERA! I will treat her to the best of my ability! I can't allow my little sister to die, you know. She has powers of alchemy that are beyond knowledge. She knows a lot of things and she won't tell me some of them. (Pouts) I think she knows of a way to transmute humans, but it's a fuzzy concept and their souls would be grafted into animals... or something like that I can't remember her long, boring lectures. I wonder if I sound like that sometimes...enough rambling, I need to take care of my baby sister._

"I AM NOT A BABY!" Melody shouted, much to the surprise of everybody.

**May 22, 1848**

Approached Loup River today. Some people in our wagon train are very tired of the journey.

Caulk the wagon and float it across that is the way to go.

_Yes! Melody's better! There is a slight chance the cholera will come back... so I need to watch out for her._

"You always do." Melody said.

_Hahaha... that I do, Melody._

"Overprotective bastard..." Edward growled. Melody blushed slightly.

_Shut up, midget._

"DON'T CALL ME MIDGET! I'LL KILL YOU!" Edward roared, ready to kill Roy.

_(Snaps fingers)_

**May 23, 1848**

Jean Havoc has a concussion. We're going to administer laudanum.

_Concussion? I don't' know what to do in case of a concussion? What do I do! I know; I'll consult the guide book._

_THE GUIDEBOOK DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING ON CONCUSSIONS! Oh, well, I'll just administer this here laudanum and see what happens..._

**May 24, 1848**

Edward suffered a concussion. We're trying to administer laudanum.

_Oh, great, now short stuff has suffered a concussion... I shouldn't say minimizing words, or he'll become too active and kill himself. juuuust great... I can't tease him for a little while. waah._

"Do you really care?" Melody asked, staring at Roy's hands,

_Of course I do, Melody! Why would you say that?_

"You put on your gloves." Kaminari and Riza said in unison.

_Ehehehe... sweatdrop._

**June 6, 1848**

_Everyone's feeling good! Let's move out! And in two days it's Kaminari's birthday! PARTAY!_

**June 7, 1848**

Kaminari came down with cholera. We've got to administer laudanum.

_Oh, that's a great birthday present, getting cholera the day before. I'll make her birthday as nice as possible._

**June 9, 1848**

We spotted a group of strangers and decided it would be best to approach them.

We talked to them.

Stopped at noon near Mormon Island and rested from our morning's labors.

_Well, that was quick. She healed up real fast. That's good._

_Those strangers were creepy. I had to resist the urge to incinerate them..._

**June 11, 1848**

Spotted a group of strangers. We decided to approach them.

We talked to them.

_What the hell is with all these strangers?_

**June 12, 1848**

Edward was bitten by a snake, and we're trying our best to use tourniquet/suction method.

_Oh, great. Shorty was bitten by a rattlesnake._

_"STOP WITH ALL THE SHORT JOKES! BE MATURE, MUSTANG!!!" Edward screamed at Roy._

_(Snort) I have a perfect joke, but i won't say it juuust yet..._

**June 14, 1848**

We've come upon an area with bad mosquitoes. We will continue.

Nooned near Deep Ravines.

June 15, 1848

Riza was bitten by a snake, and we're trying our best to use tourniquet/suction method.

_RIZA! MAH LOVE! RIZA HAS BEEN BITTEN BY A RATTLESNAKE! DIE, SNAKEY!_

_(Kills snake: death by incineration!)_

_BUT RIZA'S STILL POISONED! TOURNIQUET/SUCTION METHOD, HERE I COME!_

"Holy crap," Riza said, astounded and slightly disturbed at the same time.

**June 24, 1848**

Kaminari was bitten by a snake, and we're trying our best to use tourniquet/suction method.

_Okay, I'm starting to hate these damn rattlesnakes. This is the THIRD TIME in the last 2 weeks, I believe. Tis starting to piss me off. Lots._

**June 26, 1848**

Saw a mountain lion not far from Sandy Bluffs.

**June 28, 1848**

The mosquitoes have become quite troublesome. We hope to continue.

**June 29, 1848**

It's mighty hot today. We're going to slow down.

**June 30, 1848**

The weather turned mighty hot, so we're planning to slow down.

We endured an extremely severe thunderstorm today. We decided to continue as usual.

We were treated to a remarkably beautiful sunset near Cedar Bluffs.

_YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! THUDNERSTORM! (Hides in wagon and doesn't come out until it's over)_

**July 1, 1848**

It's mighty hot today. We're going to slow down.

**July 2, 1848**

The weather turned mighty hot, so we're planning to slow down.

**July 9, 1848**

_Aw, we missed the fourth of July. Oh, well._

**July 11, 1848**

Saw a small, foul-looking pool of water near Castle Bluffs. Could be poison; I prevented our animals from drinking it.

**July 13, 1848**

Near Ancient Bluffs, had a wagon train meeting to discuss our current circumstances.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 209 pounds of meat.

_Oh, yeah! I shot a buffalo! I guess I am good with a gun._

_Riza's death glaring me. I'm just gonna go hide now..._

**July 17, 1848**

From our guidebook, estimated we would reach Chimney Rock Vista today, and sure enough, there it was!

**July 21, 1848**

Today we have traveled 500 miles.

**July 22, 1848**

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

Nooned near North Platte River.

Decided to take advantage of the ferry.

Mr. Lumare figured we would reach Fort John today, and he was right.

Arrived at Register Cliff today.

_HAATCHOO! (Sniff) I hate dust. When it comes from the wagons, it makes me sneeze. HAAATCHOOOO! HAAAAATCHOOOOOO!_

_Why in the hell did I spend 10 bucks to take the ferry??????_

**July 23, 1848**

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

**July 24, 1848**

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

**July 25, 1848**

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

**July 26, 1848**

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

**July 27, 1848**

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

**July 28, 1848**

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

Mr. and Mrs. Billings came by for a visit today near Ayers Natural Bridge; had a very nice chat.

_It's my birthday! HAAACHOOOOOO! DAMN DUST!_

_Aw, everyone somehow got me a present... thanks g-_

_(BOOM)_

_Edward's present blew up in my face... You're in for it, pipsqueak._

"I TOLD YOU ENGOUH WITH THE SHORT JOKES!!! (Cries)" and thus, Edward began to cry.

_O.o_

**July 29, 1848**

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

This morning it was very foggy. We decided to continue as usual.

**July 30, 1848**

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

**July 31, 1848**

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

Broke a wagon wheel today. We will try to repair it.

We were unable to make the repair.

We were able to replace it from supplies.

**August 1, 1848**

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

**August 2, 1848**

Enjoyed some good fiddle music today during our nooning near North Platte River.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

Passed some time near Mormon Ferry Trading Post.

Sang and told stories around the noon campfire near Emigrant Gap.

**August 3, 1848**

Passed Willow Springs.

**August 5, 1848**

Camped today near Independence Rock.

We saw a small party of coyotes today, just a mile or so west of Devil's Gate.

**August 6, 1848**

In good spirits today; got as far as Split Rock.

**August 7, 1848**

Nooned late today not far from Three Crossings.

After some concern that we were lost, we saw Sweetwater River in the distance.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

**August 8, 1848**

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 8-oz. jar of aloe Vera; 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 45 pounds of bacon; 1 box of 20 bullets; and various other items.

"Darn it!" Melody growled as their lost supplies sank in the water.

**August 9, 1848**

Today we have traveled for 100 days.

The mosquitoes on this stretch of the trail are most bothersome. We will continue.

Arrived at Ice Spring Slough, despite some "help" from Nicholas J. Tillman.

_Tillman, your ass is grass. (Snaps fingers)_

_**BOOM!**_

_Haha._

**August 10, 1848**

We were fortunate to happen upon some wild vegetables. We will stop and gather vegetables.

We gathered 15 pounds.

**August 11, 1848**

_It's Melody's birthday! Happy birthday, Mel!_

"Thanks, Nii-san!" Melody said cheerfully.

**August 13, 1848**

Made an early start this morning; passed Final Sweetwater River Crossing.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

**August 14, 1848**

The wagon got stuck in the mud. Had to double-team the animals.

Nooned late today not far from South Pass.

**August 15, 1848**

As expected, we made it to Pacific Springs today.

We laid by today near Dry Sandy.

**August 16, 1848**

Encamped a while near "Parting of the Ways".

**August 17, 1848**

Stopped near Haystack Butte for a while.

**August 19, 1848**

Today we saw Green River. What a sight!

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

We tipped the wagon and lost 9 pounds of bacon; 2 10-lb. sacks of dried beans; 2 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit; 2 boxes of matches; and various other items.

**August 20, 1848**

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 98 pounds of meat.

**August 22, 1848**

We were fortunate to happen upon some wild vegetables. We will stop and gather vegetables.

We gathered 11 pounds.

Passed Branley Pass about noon.

**August 23, 1848**

Felt somewhat weary today. Passed Emigrant Spring.

**August 24, 1848**

Mr. Lumare figured we would reach West End of the Sublette Cutoff today, and he was right.

**August 25, 1848**

Approached Thomas Fork today. Some people in our wagon train are very tired of the journey.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

_HOLY CRAP 9 1/2 FEET! Good thing it didn't collapse, or we would have been screwed._

**August 26, 1848**

We tipped the wagon and lost 2 8-oz. bottles of alum; 48 pounds of bacon; 2 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit; 2 4-oz. bottles of iodine; and various other items.

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 19 pounds of bacon; 1 10-lb. sack of dried beans; 1 5-lb. sack of dried fruit; 1 4-oz. bottle of iodine; and various other items.

_NOOO! THE BACON! THE FOOD! THE MEDICINE! THE VARIOUS OTHER ITEMS!_

**August 27, 1848**

Passed Smith's Trading Post.

Purchased 1 rifle.

Purchased 40 pounds of pemmican.

_Wow, we still have a hell of a lot of food. We're doing good!_

**August 29, 1848**

Today we reached Soda Springs.

Made it to Sheep Rock.

**August 30, 1848**

We spotted a group of strangers and decided it would be best to approach them.

We talked to them.

**August 31, 1848**

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll slow down.

**September 1, 1848**

Passed the thousand mile mark today!

**September 5, 1848**

A thick fog rolled in today. Looks like we'll continue as usual.

**September 7, 1848**

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 89 pounds of meat.

**September 8, 1848**

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 72 pounds of meat.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 136 pounds of meat.

_Hunting with a gun is extremely fun!_

"Colonel, you're rhyming." Riza said, regarding Roy with a raised eyebrow.

_WTF?!_

**September 9, 1848**

The trail brought us to Fort Hall today.

Purchased 3 boxes of 20 bullets, 2 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder.

Purchased 35 5-lb. tins of biscuits, 21 pounds of cheese.

Purchased 1 fishing pole.

**September 10, 1848**

One of our wagon wheels broke. We have to try to repair it.

We were unable to make the repair.

We were able to replace it from supplies.

**September 12, 1848**

There was a wedding in camp today not far from American Falls. A joyous occasion in the wilderness!

**September 14, 1848**

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

Passed some time near Raft River.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

Approached California Trail Junction today. Some people in our wagon train are very tired of the journey.

_River! Water! AUGH! MY ONE WEAKNESS!_

"Then stay inside the wagon, Colonel." Havoc said.

**September 15, 1848**

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

**September 16, 1848**

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

Melody has a sprain. I decided it is best to immobilize affected joint.

_MELODY! NOO MY LITTLE SISTER!_

"It's only a sprained knee, Roy. I'll be fine!" Melody grumbled.

_Okay, but I'm still taking care of you._

**September 17, 1848**

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

**September 18, 1848**

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

Had a pleasant talk with Miss Whitney today in the vicinity of City of Rocks.

**September 19, 1848**

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

Made an early start this morning; passed Salt Lake Cutoff Junction.

**September 20, 1848**

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 coffee pot; 1 5-lb. sack of dried fruit; 4 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables; 1 25-lb. keg of gunpowder; and various other items.

**September 27, 1848**

Ohhh, if we're lucky we'll make it before winter! I'm sooo proud of us! None of us have died, and we're all in good condition! Yeah!

**October 2, 1848**

Enjoyed a cup of coffee with Mr. Lumare today at noon near Hot Spring Valley.

_We all relaxed in the hot springs. They are very nice for soothing hurting bodies. Unfortunately, us men and the girls were separated... pity… I wanted to see Riza..._

Roy was later flattened by a giant rock courtesy of Riza. (2)

"Nice shot, Lieutenant!" Melody cheered as Riza grinned at the flat slightly perverted colonel.

_Owch..._

**October 4, 1848**

_There was this mean a-holeish guy back there. I wanted to burn him... so I did. _

"Keep back! Don't be a-passin' us! We got no wish to be eating your dust. (_This is seriously what this guy says. I want to take the knife he's holding and shank him with it! -MattsyKun)_"

Snap.

_The guy that was mean was reduced to a pile of ashes on the ground._

_Rest in pieces... bitch. Sorry, I just had to add that. Lol!_

**October 9, 1848**

_Aw, the animals are tired, and I need to go hunting again for some meat. If not, we'll all get sick and die! And we're so close to our destination, too..._

_Is it just me, or am I the only one who hasn't gotten sick? It is! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

"Roy, that's mean." Riza reprimanded.

_Sorry, Riza... (Glomp)_

"O.o" Riza said, slightly disturbed that her colonel was hugging her.

**October 13, 1848**

The animals are exhausted and can't continue. I've decided to stop and rest awhile.

**October 14, 1848**

We were treated to a remarkably beautiful sunset near North Fork of the Humboldt River.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 47 pounds of meat.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

**October 15, 1848**

We had to double-team the animals to try to get our wagon out of the mud.

"Eww, mud..." Melody complained.

_Just deal with it, little sister._

**October 17, 1848**

Sore feet today, but I'll manage. Saw Emigrant Pass.

_OW! MY FEET! THEY HURT! OWWW!_

**October 21, 1848**

Reached Gravelly Ford of the Humboldt River.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

**October 22, 1848**

We had to double-team the animals to try to get our wagon out of the mud.

**October 23, 1848**

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 31 pounds of meat.

**October 24, 1848**

Traded 6 dollars for 60 pounds of meat.

Traded 1 winter coat for 20 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables.

Traded 9 dollars for 100 pounds of meat.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 8 pounds of meat.

**October 25, 1848**

_Okay, this is getting slightly annoying... the only things to hunt out here are birds, those damn prairie dogs, and rabbits. WHY! WHERE HAVE ALL THE DEER GONE!_

"Maybe they're hibernating." Melody suggested.

WHAP!

_Foolish little sister (3), DEER DON'T HIBERNATE! BEARS DO!_

"Sorry..." Melody grumbled.

**October 27, 1848**

One of our wagon axles broke, and I decided to try to repair it.

We were unable to make the repair.

We were able to replace it from supplies.

**October 31, 1848**

One of our oxen stepped in a hole, and we are going to butcher the animal for meat.

We salvaged 188 pounds of meat.

**November 1, 1848**

_Those prairie dogs will be the death of us all..._

"Roy, they're just prairie dogs." Havoc said. His little sister (Kaminari) nodded.

_i don't care! I will incinerate every one that crosses my path!_

"Colonel Mustang's lost it." Ed whispered to Riza, who just frowned at him.

**November 2, 1848**

Today we reached Lassen's Meadows.

**November 4, 1848**

We found an abandoned wagon. We decided to search it for something useful.

We did not find anything useful.

**November 8, 1848**

We rested a while not far from Pahute Peak.

_Juust great... no water, no grass... but we're all okay! WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT!_

"Come to think of it, nobody's gotten sick in a while." Riza commented. Havoc nodded in agreement and took a drag from his cigarette.

**November 13, 1848**

Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve.

Today our labors were rewarded with the sight of High Rock Creek.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

**November 14, 1848**

The wagon got stuck in the mud. Had to double-team the animals.

**November 15, 1848**

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

**November 16, 1848**

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

**November 17, 1848**

Will this journey never end! Today we have traveled for 200 days.

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

**November 18, 1848**

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

Today we passed Middle Alkali Lake.

_WE'RE ALMOST THERE! YAAAAAAAAY!_

**November 20, 1848**

There was a wedding in camp today not far from Lassen's Pass. A joyous occasion in the wilderness!

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 184 pounds of meat.

_Oh, my, god. THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE TO HUNT OTHER THAN RABBITS AND BIRDS AND PRARIE DOGS! BEARS!_

"Just don't get mauled by a mountain lion!" Kaminari said jokingly.

_Don't jinx me, woman._

**November 22, 1848**

Encamped a while near Goose Lake.

**November 23, 1848**

The trails flooded. We had to try to ford through the water.

**November 24, 1848**

The trails flooded. We had to try to ford through the water.

**November 27, 1848**

Saw eagles today near Slough Springs. What majestic creatures!

**November 28, 1848**

Reached Hidden Valley.

**November 29, 1848**

Today we reached Clear Lake.

**November 30, 1848**

Traded 2 oxen for 1 spare wagon axle.

**December 1, 1848**

Broke a wagon axle today. We will have to trade for a replacement.

**December 4, 1848**

We got caught in a blizzard. I reckon we'll continue as usual.

Broke an ox yoke today. We will try to repair it.

We were unable to make the repair.

We were able to replace it from supplies.

_Here comes the bad weather... but we're almost there! ALMOST THERE, PEOPLES!_

"Yeah!" everyone cheered.

**December 6, 1848**

Commenced early today; saw Lower Klamath Lake.

**December 9, 1848**

The fog was awful this morning. We decided to continue as usual.

**December 11, 1848**

Nooned late today not far from Klamath River.

December 15, 1848

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

_ooh, the greatest Christmas present... being in civilization! yes! Western HQ, here we come!_

"What makes you so sure we'll be there in time for Christmas?" Edward asked.

_I just know, Ed, I just know._

"Women's intuition?" he said slyly.

SNAP.

"AAAGH!"

_Lol, he brought that on himself._

**December 16, 1848**

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 8-oz. jar of aloe vera; 1 4-oz. bottle of iodine; 1 box of matches; 2 sets of clothing; 1 10-bar box of soap; and various other items.

_Edward, I am going to KILL you._

(Snaps fingers)

(Insert huge explosion here)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Edward screamed as he was almost cremated.

**December 20, 1848**

Jean Havoc was nearly drowned today. We're planning to rest here awhile.

"HAVOC!" Riza cried, trying to do CPR on him.

_I watched in jealousy._

"Why are you jealous, Nii-san?" Melody asked Roy.

_(blush) I just am. Go away._

"Fine. Meanie Nii-san." Melody muttered under her breath.

**December 22, 1848**

The wagon got stuck in the mud. Had to double-team the animals.

**December 25, 1848 (Merry X-Mas!)**

Passed Emigrant Creek.

_Man, if Jean hadn't drowned..._

"Shut up! I'm not a very good swimmer!" Havoc complained.

_Maybe that's why you can't get a girl..._

"Shut up!"

_Merry Christmas!_

**December 26, 1848**

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

**December 27, 1848**

We got caught in a blizzard. I reckon we'll continue as usual.

**December 28, 1848**

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

_... Why, mother nature? I'll just incinerate us out! (Snaps fingers)_

**December 30, 1848**

Arrived today at the Rogue River Valley!! At last we have reached our destination! Truly this is the land of opportunity!

_oh... my god... we made it! One day before the New Year! We may have no food and it may be snowing, but we made it, gang!_

"Yay!" Melody and Kaminari cheered, hugging each other. Riza glomped onto Roy, and Havoc and Edward grinned from ear to ear.

_We're settling here for the New Year!_

"… you're rhyming again, Roy." Riza said.

_Why do I keep doing that?_

"I don't know, sir." Riza said, shaking her head.

March 26, 1849

Obtained a land deed today from the county for 347 acres. Now I can begin to build my new life!

Final Score: 4351

March 27, 1849

In 1848, Roy built a home on 347 acres of land in the Rogue River Valley of Oregon.

After several years of only moderate success on the farm, Roy decided to move to the growing population center of Medford, establishing a small business that proved more stable and satisfying.

Major financial and personal losses occurred during the Modoc War of 1872–73, but Roy was able to recover and in later years became a potent force in state business and politics.

I got this from Yugioh Abridged (don't own). Go onto and watch it. Funny! Basically the scene went like this:

Yami: Does anyone actually believe this is Kaiba's Ghost?

Tristan: I do!

Yami: Anyone besides Tristan?

Tristan: I do!

Yami: it's some sort of… gay clown. (or something like that, I remember gay and clown.)

I got this from one of the Inuyasha movies. Miroku gets flattened by a rock thrown by Sango. I found it very funny.

Itachi quote! "Foolish Little Brother." By the way, I don't own Yugioh, Naruto, FMA, or Inuyasha. I wish I did. But I don't.

_MattsyKun: That was fun, don't you agree?_

_Mustang Gang (which is what I labeled the game as): (are all on the ground completely wiped out)_

_MattsyKun: You'll all be okay. Next I'm doing Short Stuff's Oregon Trail Journal!_

_Ed: DON'T CALL ME SHORT!_

_MattsyKun: sorry, Edward-kun! (glomp) I love you!_

_Ed: O.o_


	2. Riza Hawkeye

**Hawkeye's Oregon Trail Journal**

_Standard Disclaimer Applies. Yawn, It hasn't changed since last chapter._

_Edit: I changed Melody's age and birthday. She's 18, and her birthday's March 14. PI DAY! HOORAY!_

(When words are italicized, that means Riza wrote them in the journal. Everybody else just so happens to be reading it.)

April 30, 1848

Here begins the journal of Riza Hawkeye, formerly a banker. Tomorrow we leave Independence behind to begin our journey west to Oregon City. We must still purchase the supplies that our Conestoga wagon will hold to sustain us during our long trek.

I hope that my skill in commerce/trade will prove of some value.

May 1, 1848

Took advantage of the package deal offered to me. What a relief not to have to shop for all that individually!

Purchased 1 large farmwagon.

Purchased 5 8-oz. jars of aloe vera, 5 8-oz. bottles of alum, 5 16-oz. bottles of ammonia, 5 16-oz. boxes of borax, 5 16-oz. bottles of brandy, 2 4-oz. bottles of calomel, 5 8-oz. bottles of camomile, 5 4-oz. bottles of camphor, 5 4-oz. bottles of capsicum, 5 16-oz. bottles of castor oil, 5 8-oz. jars of dandelion, 5 8-oz. boxes of Dover's Powder, 5 8-oz. bottles of Duffy's Elixir, 4 12-oz. bottles of epsom salts, 3 8-oz. bottles of hydrogen peroxide, 2 4-oz. bottles of iodine, 5 4-oz. bottles of ipecac, 5 16-oz. bottles of isopropyl alcohol, 2 4-oz. boxes of James Fever Powder, 5 4-oz. bottles of laudanum, 5 6-oz. bottles of lecithin, 5 8-oz. bottles of linseed oil, 2 12-oz. bottles of magnesia, 4 16-oz. bottles of olive oil, 3 4-oz. bottles of peppermint, 5 4-oz. bottles of quinine, 5 4-oz. bottles of sarsaparilla, 5 6-oz. bottles of sassafras, 5 4-oz. bottles of spearmint, 5 6-oz. bottles of sulfur, 5 16-oz. bottles of turpentine, 5 gallon jugs of whiskey, 5 8-oz. bottles of witch hazel.

Purchased 3 boxes of 20 bullets, 4 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder, 1 rifle.

Purchased 21 oxen.

Purchased 825 pounds of bacon, 5 5-lb. tins of biscuits, 95 pounds of celery, 55 pounds of cheese, 130 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit, 225 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables, 150 pounds of ham, 90 5-lb. tins of preserved potatoes, 100 pounds of salt pork, 70 1-lb. tins of smoked salmon.

Purchased 7 pairs of boots, 7 winter coats, 6 winter scarves.

Purchased 6 canteens, 1 fishing net, 1 fishing pole, 1 fishing spear, 1 frying pan, 1 lantern, 1 30-foot length of rope, 3 water kegs.

Purchased 10 oxen.

Purchased 1 butter churn.

Purchased 3 yards of brown muslin cloth, 1 30-yard spool of mending yarn.

Saw a headline today: Irish Unrest Grows in Wake of Potato Famine

Purchased 2 rifle or shotgun sheaths.

Came to Blue River. Had a talk with some of the other folks in the wagon train.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

Made our way past Westport late today. Trail could be better.

_Wow. We really stocked up on items._

"Well, we can't go hungry for a while." Melody said cheerfully.

_DAMN!_

"What?" Roy said, alarmed.

_I forgot to get a rifle/shotgun sheath for the gun._

"You're good with a gun. I don't think you'll shoot yourself.' Havoc said.

May 2, 1848

The good people of the wagon train hired me as their trail guide.

We rested a while not far from New Santa Fe.

_Hey, I'm a trail guide! Whoopee for me._

May 3, 1848

Had a lengthy chat with Mr. Lumare today near Lone Elm.

May 4, 1848

After much travail, we came to Blue Mound.

May 8, 1848

Saw a grave dug up by wolves near Kansas River--bones scattered about. A most distressing sight!

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 197 pounds of meat.

May 9, 1848

Passed the hundred mile mark today.

May 10, 1848

Got a late start; passed Saint Mary's Mission.

We saw a small party of coyotes today, just a mile or so west of Red Vermillion River.

May 11, 1848

Saw an empty wagon abandoned on the trail today near Scott Spring. If it could talk, what stories it might tell!

May 12, 1848

Melody came down with cholera. We've got to administer laudanum.

_Wow, we were going along great until Melody got cholera. The Colonel's sobbing over her._

"NOOO! MY LITTLE SISTER!!!" Roy wailed.

May 26, 1848

Today our eyes were greeted with the sight of Alcove Spring.

In good spirits today; got as far as Big Blue River.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

Our train lost 4 wagons and 5 people crossing the river today.

_Yes! Melody's all better now. It's all good!_

May 27, 1848

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 42 pounds of bacon; 4 pounds of cheese; 3 pounds of coffee beans; 1 10-lb. sack of cornmeal; and various other items.

June 2, 1848

Falman gave us a good scare by coming close to drowning. I decided to rest here awhile.

"FALMAN!" Roy roared. he then proceded to worry over his subordinate.

_What was that for?_

"Quiet, Hawkeye-chuui."

_(CLICK)_

"Errr..." Roy stammered. Havoc and Hughes started laughing.

June 3, 1848

Stopped at noon near St. Joseph Road Junction and rested from our morning's labors.

June 4, 1848

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 165 pounds of meat.

June 7, 1848

We were fortunate to happen upon some wild vegetables. We will ignore them.

June 8, 1848

Today our eyes were greeted with the sight of The Narrows.

June 9, 1848

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

June 10, 1848

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

June 11, 1848

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

It's mighty hot today. We're going to continue as usual.

Got as far as "The Coast of Nebraska" today.

_It's Royai Day! (blush)_

"I love you, Riza!" Roy declared.

_**BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH!**_

June 12, 1848

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

In good spirits today; got as far as Fort Kearny.

June 15, 1848

The mosquitoes have become quite troublesome. We hope to continue.

June 16, 1848

Saw eagles today near Plum Creek. What majestic creatures!

June 18, 1848

We were fortunate to happen upon some wild vegetables. We will gather while continuing.

We gathered 2 pounds.

June 20, 1848

A sudden thunderstorm caught us on the trail. I decided it is best to continue as usual.

Spotted a group of strangers. We decided to continue at a distance.

_Oh, no. A severe thunderstorm. Taisa was freaking out because of the rain._

"AAAAAGGGGHHHH!" Roy screamed, hiding underneath the blankets.

_Sir, please come out._

"NEVAHHHH!" Roy wailed. Havoc and Hughes sweatdropped.

June 21, 1848

We spotted a group of strangers and decided it would be best to approach them.

We talked to them.

_Roy..._

"Yes, Riza-chuui?"

_Were you that blacksmith?_

"Oh, just because I'm a flame alchemist means I did it."

I was just asking...

"Oh, okay."

June 23, 1848

A sudden thunderstorm caught us on the trail. I decided it is best to continue as usual.

June 26, 1848

Had a lengthy chat with Mr. Lumare today near O'Fallon's Bluffs.

June 27, 1848

The mosquitoes are driving us crazy, keeping us awake at night. We must continue.

_Melody was huddled next to me, afraid of teh mosquitoes. They're not gonna kill you._

"Yes they will!" Melody squeaked.

_(Sigh)_

June 29, 1848

A severe thunderstorm made travel difficult today. We figured we would continue as usual.

July 1, 1848

We were fortunate to happen upon some wild vegetables. We will stop and gather vegetables.

We gathered 12 pounds.

July 2, 1848

Melody has cholera. I decided to continue as usual.

Made it to South Platte River.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 207 pounds of meat.

_Melody has cholera AGAIN! What's up with that? and... there goes Mustang no Taisa, fretting over his sister again._

July 3, 1848

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 61 pounds of bacon; 1 box of 20 bullets; 1 pound of cheese; 10 pounds of coffee beans; and various other items.

July 4, 1848

We suffered a terrible loss. Melody has died of cholera. We plan to provide a proper burial.

Today is Independence Day and we've decided to continue.

_What the hell? Melody-nisa (Lieutenant Colonel) died today of cholera. Mustang no Taisa is crying his head off._

"WHAAAH! SHE'S GONE, HAWKEYE-CHUUI!!! GONE!" Roy wailed, heartbroken, "EVERYONE'S DYING BEFORE MEEE!"

_Cholera is a terrible thing. Melody was like a little sister to me. it was a terrible loss. We provided a burial with full military honors..._

**(A/N) I get mad when people die of cholera, especially that one time I played and someone died the second day on the trail of it. [anger mark**

July 5, 1848

Today we have traveled 500 miles.

The weather turned mighty hot, so we're planning to slow down.

We saw a small party of coyotes today, just a mile or so west of Ash Hollow.

July 6, 1848

The weather turned mighty hot, so we're planning to slow down.

July 7, 1848

_Roy tried to make a move on me today. I pulled out my rifle and aimed just a little to the left of his head. The rest of the day he was curled up the fetal position._

"I must think of a way to make Riza mine!" Roy muttered.

_Hands off, Sir._

_Taisa, are you... pouting?_

"No, Hawkeye." Roy said. (DENIAL!!!)

July 8, 1848

We endured an extremely severe thunderstorm today. We decided to continue as usual.

The weather turned mighty hot, so we're planning to slow down.

_Roy freaked out because of the thunderstorm. He huddled close to me. Hughes, as usual, was showing off pictures of his family. He's really pissing me off. In a minute, I'll kill him! I hope he dies next!_

July 12, 1848

Arrived at Courthouse and Jail Rocks, despite some "help" from Nicholas J. Tillman.

July 13, 1848

There was a wedding in camp today not far from Chimney Rock. A joyous occasion in the wilderness!

July 14, 1848

Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near Scotts Bluff. I suspect he cheats.

_If I catch that asshole cheating, I'll kill him._

July 15, 1848

A severe thunderstorm made travel difficult today. We figured we would continue as usual.

One of the oxen was injured. It looks like we'll have to abandon injured animal.

These blasted mosquitoes! We've decided to continue.

The trail brought us to Robidoux Pass Trading Post today.

_...need I say more?_

July 18, 1848

A prairie fire spread across the trail today. It seemed best to continue as usual.

Our wagon caught fire and we lost 3 8-oz. jars of aloe vera; 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 132 pounds of bacon; 1 pound of cheese; and various other items.

Falman has a bad burn, and we're hoping to apply aloe to burns.

Made it to Laramie River.

Given the price, we will take the ferry.

Found ourselves at Fort John this day. Got a nasty splinter in my thumb, but extracted it without too much difficulty.

_TAISA! DID YOU START THAT PRARIE FIRE?!?!?!!_

"No, I didn't." Roy said, looking rather puzzled at the giant fire.

_I don't believe you..._

_CLICK._

"I really didn't! Please don't hurt me!" Roy squeaked, hiding behind Havoc.

_HOLY CRAP THE WAGON CAUGHT FIRE!_

_HOLY CRAP FALMAN GOT BURNED!_

July 19, 1848

Saw an empty wagon abandoned on the trail today near Register Cliff. If it could talk, what stories it might tell!

We're on our way to the Oregon Trail! WHOOOOHOOOO! Falman isn't doing so good... we'd better rest for a while until he gets better.

July 28, 1848

_It's Roy-Taisa's birthday! Happy Birthday, Sir!_

"Stop calling me sir!"

_You sound like that one girl off of Peanuts_.

"It's my birthday, enough with the formalities." Roy said cheerfully.

_Yes, S-Roy._

"If only Melody were here..." Roy said, then cheered up when Hughes gave him a super special awesome present... what it is I don't know.

July 29, 1848

Heard news of a murder and hanging last night near Ayers Natural Bridge. Enough to send shivers down one's spine.

July 31, 1848

One of our wagon axles broke, and I decided to try to repair it.

We were successful.

August 1, 1848

Roy has a bad cold. We're going to increase fluid intake.

_Taisa has a bad cold! NO! WE MUST REST! Hughes, don't even think about sharing photos with him. (CLICK)_

"O-Okay!" Hughes said, frightened. He then went to go hide in another wagon.

August 7, 1848

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 163 pounds of meat.

_Well, Falman's feeling better. That's good. Now, all we need is for Taisa to get better..._

_Hughes no Nisa, STOP SHOWING OFF THOSE DAMN PHOTOS! _

_I took out my anger by going hunting._

August 8, 1848

_Yay! Roy-taisa's feeling better!_

"Thanks for caring for me." Roy said.

_Omg I'm blushing! RUN AWAY!_

"What's with her?" Hughes asked Havoc as Riza ran to a different wagon.

August 9, 1848

We have been traveling for 100 days, today.

Found a clean, well-formed ox skull a short ways from North Platte River; tempted to take it with me, but decided against it.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

Reached Mormon Ferry Trading Post. Strangely beautiful country.

Purchased 90 pounds of bacon, 30 pounds of pemmican, 10 20-lb. sacks of potatoes, 85 pounds of salt pork.

Purchased 4 boxes of 20 bullets, 4 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder, 1 pistol.

Purchased 50 pounds of cheese.

Purchased 3 30-foot lengths of rope.

Purchased 2 blankets, 5 dozen candles, 3 boxes of matches, 10 10-bar boxes of soap.

Sang and told stories around the noon campfire near Emigrant Gap.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 5 pounds of meat.

_I shot two rabbits for food... and to make Taisa bunny slippers. To keep his mind off of Melody._

August 10, 1848

August 11, 1848

Havoc a bad cold. We're going to increase fluid intake.

Enjoyed a cup of coffee with Mr. Lumare today at noon near Willow Springs.

_Havoc has a bad cold! Oh, no! But the good thing is Taisa's so preoccupied with caring for Havoc, he isn't thinking about Melody! That's good... I guess. He's probably gonna chew me out tomorrow... but oh, well. All I want is for Taisa-sama to be happy._

August 18, 1848

_Havoc still isn't feeling well, but we'll cure him! And I don't mean you, Hughes_.

"Where is he?" Roy asked, looking around. Falman pointed to a nearby wagon.

"In there, hiding from you, Lieutenant."

_Heh. Nice._

August 19, 1848

Rested for a time near Independence Rock.

Every day our journey comes closer to its end. Today we made it to Devil's Gate.

August 20, 1848

Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near Split Rock. I suspect he cheats.

August 21, 1848

Today we passed Three Crossings.

Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near Sweetwater River. I suspect he cheats.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

Our train lost 2 wagons and 4 people crossing the river today.

August 22, 1848

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 7 pounds of bacon; 1 5-lb. sack of dried vegetables; 1 10-lb. sack of flour; 6 pounds of pemmican; and various other items.

Hughes was nearly drowned today. We're planning to continue.

_Hughes almost drowned! I was kidding a while ago when i said i hope he dies next!_

_Roy is now fretting over Hughes. I mean, they're best friends, even though it sometimes doesn't seem like it._

September 4, 1848

_Everyone's feeling good. Let's roll._

September 5, 1848

Sang and told stories around the noon campfire near Ice Spring Slough.

September 6, 1848

We found some wild vegetables and decided to stop and gather vegetables.

We gathered 17 pounds.

September 8, 1848

Nooned late today not far from Final Sweetwater River Crossing.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 91 pounds of meat.

September 9, 1848

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

There was a wedding in camp today not far from South Pass. A joyous occasion in the wilderness!

Felt somewhat weary today. Passed Pacific Springs.

September 10, 1848

Today I saw Dry Sandy.

September 11, 1848

Our expectations of reaching "Parting of the Ways" were fulfilled this day.

September 12, 1848

We found an abandoned wagon. We decided to search it for something useful.

We found: 1 box of matches.

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to wait for conditions to improve.

The mosquitoes have become quite troublesome. We hope to continue.

September 13, 1848

We came across an abandoned wagon and decided to search it for something useful.

We found: 2 pounds of nails; 1 30-foot length of chain.

September 14, 1848

From our guidebook, estimated we would reach Green River today, and sure enough, there it was!

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

_Well, at least nobody died._

September 15, 1848

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 143 pounds of meat.

September 16, 1848

Passed the thousand mile mark today!

Approached Church Butte today. Some people in our wagon train are very tired of the journey.

September 17, 1848

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 198 pounds of meat.

Nooned at Name Rock.

September 18, 1848

A thick fog rolled in today. Looks like we'll wait for conditions to improve.

September 19, 1848

Roy broke a bone. We're going to set the bone and apply splint.

Arrived at Fort Bridger today.

September 29, 1848

Enjoyed a cup of coffee with Mr. Lumare today at noon near Grave Spring.

September 30, 1848

Saw West End of the Sublette Cutoff, sight is most reassuring.

October 1, 1848

Mr. Tillman claims it's the Oregon Territory up ahead, but the guidebook says it's Thomas Fork.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

October 2, 1848

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 8-oz. jar of aloe vera; 34 pounds of bacon; 1 5-lb. sack of dried fruit; 11 pounds of pemmican; and various other items.

October 3, 1848

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 21 pounds of bacon; 2 boxes of 20 bullets; 2 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit; and various other items.

We tipped the wagon and lost 18 pounds of bacon; 1 box of 20 bullets; 1 5-lb. sack of dried vegetables; 1 4-oz. bottle of iodine; and various other items.

October 4, 1848

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 26 pounds of bacon; 1 box of 20 bullets; 2 10-lb. sacks of dried beans; 1 box of matches; 4 pounds of pemmican; and various other items.

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 8-oz. jar of aloe vera; 14 pounds of bacon; 6 pounds of pemmican; 1 6-oz. bottle of sulfur; and various other items.

As expected, we made it to Smith's Trading Post today.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 110 pounds of meat.

October 5, 1848

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 8 pounds of meat.

_OMFG the wagon kept tipping over! wtf! Stay upright, you damn wagon!_

October 7, 1848

Nooned late today not far from Soda Springs.

_Yay, the wagon stayed up, after much threatening!_

October 8, 1848

Sore feet today, but I'll manage. Saw Sheep Rock.

October 15, 1848

Camped today near Fort Hall.

_Zomg. No water. Oh my god._

"Hey! We could die from thirst!" Roy said.

_Don't jinx us, sir. [Points gun at Roy's head_

"Eep!" Roy said, ducking underneath the covers.

October 16, 1848

Saw a small, foul-looking pool of water near American Falls. Could be poison; I prevented our animals from drinking it.

October 18, 1848

In good spirits today; got as far as Raft River.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

Enjoyed a cup of coffee with Mr. Lumare today at noon near California Trail Junction.

October 22, 1848

Had a lengthy chat with Mr. Lumare today near Caldron Linn.

October 24, 1848

A thick fog rolled in today. Looks like we'll continue as usual.

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

Mr. and Mrs. Billings came by for a visit today near Rock Creek; had a very nice chat.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

October 25, 1848

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 21 pounds of bacon; 1 box of 20 bullets; 2 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit; 1 4-oz. bottle of laudanum; and various other items.

_Noez! The bacon! The bullets! the fruit! The various other items!_

November 7, 1848

Havoc was nearly drowned today. We're planning to rest here awhile.

_Aw, crap, Havoc. Stop almost drowning!_

"Cough." Havoc said.

November 8, 1848

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

It is mighty cold today. We're going to wait for conditions to improve.

November 9, 1848

It is mighty cold today. We're going to wait for conditions to improve.

November 11, 1848

Got as far as Kanaka Rapids today.

_Grr. The second someone gets frostbite, I'm going to get mad._

"Er... Are you still mad at me for almost drowning???" Havoc said nervously.

_GGGRRRRRRRRR..._

"WAH! Chief, help me!" Havoc said, hiding behind Roy.

November 12, 1848

Saw some Indians in the distance not far from Thousand Springs. No incident, but some concern.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 196 pounds of meat.

There was a wedding in camp today not far from Upper Salmon Falls. A joyous occasion in the wilderness!

November 13, 1848

Terrible fog during the early part of the day. We chose to continue as usual.

November 14, 1848

The fog is as thick as pea soup. I reckon we'll continue as usual.

November 15, 1848

Encamped a while near Three Islands.

Nooned near Snake River.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 10 pounds of bacon; 1 set of clothing; 2 pairs of shoes; 1 16-oz. bottle of ammonia; and various other items.

November 17, 1848

We have been traveling for 200 days, today. Will we never arrive?

We came across an abandoned wagon and decided to search it for something useful.

We found: 1 16-oz. box of borax; 1 grandfather clock.

From our guidebook, estimated we would reach Hot Springs today, and sure enough, there it was!

November 18, 1848

Had a bit of a run-in with another wagon party today near Register Rock, but we patched up our differences before nightfall.

_Pfft. Taisa almost flamed someone. I managed to restrain him…_

November 19, 1848

Saw a mountain lion not far from Bonneville Point.

November 20, 1848

Hughes has a bad case of food poisoning. I decided to administer laudanum.

_OMG! Hughes got food poisoning. This is new..._

**(A/N) Seriously. That was new. In all the years I've been playing the Oregon Trail (like, five), I have never had a character get food poisoning. Wow.**

"Bleagh!" Hughes said while throwing up in a wash bin.

"Ew..." Havoc said. Roy's eye twitched.

November 23, 1848

Traded 1 grandfather clock for 45 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables.

Traded 3 oxen for 40 20-lb. sacks of potatoes.

Traded 1 ox for 35 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit.

Traded 13 dollars for 40 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 81 pounds of meat.

November 27, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to wait for conditions to improve.

November 28, 1848

It is mighty cold today. We're going to wait for conditions to improve.

November 29, 1848

It is mighty cold today. We're going to wait for conditions to improve.

November 30, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to wait for conditions to improve.

December 1, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to wait for conditions to improve.

_Cold… [shivers_

December 3, 1848

Had a lengthy chat with Mr. Lumare today near Fort Boise.

Purchased 60 pounds of bacon, 40 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit, 85 pounds of ham, 150 pounds of pemmican, 25 20-lb. sacks of potatoes.

Purchased 1 4-oz. bottle of camphor, 2 12-oz. bottles of epsom salts, 8 oxen, 2 16-oz. bottles of turpentine.

December 4, 1848

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

Today our eyes were greeted with the sight of Final Snake River Crossing.

The ice looks like it will hold the wagon... So across we go.

Encamped a while near East Cow Hollow.

Felt somewhat weary today. Passed Lytle Pass.

December 5, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

We were treated to a remarkably beautiful sunset near Malheur River.

The ice looks like it will hold the wagon... So across we go.

December 6, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

December 7, 1848

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

We were treated to a remarkably beautiful sunset near Farewell Bend.

December 8, 1848

Saw a mountain lion not far from Burnt River Canyon.

December 9, 1848

Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve.

December 10, 1848

Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to wait for conditions to improve.

December 13, 1848

Happened upon a fresh grave near Flagstaff Hill. A reminder of the hazards we all face on the this journey.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 214 pounds of meat.

December 16, 1848

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

Passed Grande Ronde River. Road fair to middling.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

Our train lost 4 wagons and 8 people crossing the river today.

December 17, 1848

We had to double-team the animals to try to get our wagon out of the mud.

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

We tipped the wagon and lost 4 pounds of bacon; 1 10-bar box of soap; 1 pair of socks; 1 16-oz. bottle of brandy; 1 16-oz. bottle of castor oil; and various other items.

December 18, 1848

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

"Oh, god... dust... ACHOO! AAACCCHHOOOOO!" Roy sneezed.

_Don't sneeze your brains out sir._

"What brains?" Havoc said. **(Ouch, burn!)** Two minutes later Roy had incinerated him.

December 19, 1848

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

A wild animal bit I. It seemed best to clean and dress the wound.

Traded 29 pounds of bacon for 3 pounds of cheese.

Traded 1 ox for 5 boxes of 20 bullets.

December 20, 1848

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

Traded 2 oxen for 1 spare wagon wheel.

December 21, 1848

One of our wagon wheels broke. We have to trade for a replacement.

December 22, 1848

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

Just learned that one of the oxen was injured. We're going to slow down.

Traded 1 ox for 1 spare ox yoke.

December 23, 1848

The ox yoke broke, and I decided to trade for a replacement.

December 24, 1848

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

Rested the animals near Emigrant Springs.

January 7, 1849

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

Today we saw Deadman Pass. How sublime it appears by moonlight.

January 8, 1849

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

Saw an empty wagon abandoned on the trail today near Doe Canyon. If it could talk, what stories it might tell!

January 9, 1849

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

January 10, 1849

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

January 11, 1849

The animals are so exhausted they can't continue. We plan to stop and rest awhile.

January 13, 1849

Saw a mountain lion not far from Whitman Mission Ruins.

January 16, 1849

Happened upon a fresh grave near Fort Walla Walla. A reminder of the hazards we all face on the this journey.

January 19, 1849

With such cold weather, Falman has frostbite. At this time, I will gradually warm affected area.

January 20, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to wait for conditions to improve.

January 21, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to wait for conditions to improve.

January 22, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to wait for conditions to improve.

January 23, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to wait for conditions to improve.

January 24, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to wait for conditions to improve.

January 25, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to wait for conditions to improve.

January 26, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to wait for conditions to improve.

January 27, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to wait for conditions to improve.

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

_[rolls eyes Gawd… can we please become unsnowbound? Taisa-sama?_

"Huh?" Roy asked, drinking a cup of hot chocolate.

_Not huh, get us out of here!_

"Fine, fine, jeez…" Roy said, putting on his gloves and melting the snow.

January 28, 1849

Traded 1 ox for 1 spare ox yoke.

January 29, 1849

Broke an ox yoke today. We will trade for a replacement.

January 30, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

Made our way past Trail Junction at the Umatilla River late today. Trail could be better.

January 31, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

February 1, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

February 2, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

February 3, 1849

Hughes came down with a bad cold, and I decided to increase rations.

We've had such cold weather, Hughes is freezing. We will stop and build a fire.

One of our oxen died as a result of an accident. I decided to butcher the animal for meat.

We salvaged 222 pounds of meat.

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

_Hughes has a cold._

_Hughes is freeizing._

_An ox died._

"What the hell?" Roy said with a raised eyebrow. Falman just blinked.

February 4, 1849

Hughes came down with a bad cold, and I decided to increase rations.

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

Arrived at Echo Meadows today.

February 18, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

February 19, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

February 22, 1849

Havoc has a bad cold. We're going to slow down.

_Damnit you guys, stop getting colds! That's an order!_

"I'll try..." Everyone muttered. Havoc sneezed and a load of snot landed on Riza.

_...Ew..._

February 24, 1849

Saw some Indians in the distance not far from Four Mile Canyon. No incident, but some concern.

February 25, 1849

With such cold weather, Havoc has frostbite. At this time, I will gradually warm affected area.

_Great, now Havoc has frostbite. Just perfect._

"I'm sorry." Havoc said.

February 26, 1849

Camped today near McDonald Ford of the John Day River.

February 27, 1849

Not much else to do, but cross our fingers, and hope the ice holds.

February 28, 1849

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

March 1, 1849

We've had such cold weather, Falman is freezing. We will stop and build a fire.

_Falman's freezing! Mustang, build a fire!_

"Fine..." Roy said, putting some wood together and snapping his fingers to light it.

March 2, 1849

We suffered a terrible loss. Falman has died. We plan to provide a proper burial.

Mr. Tillman claims it's the Oregon Territory up ahead, but the guidebook says it's Biggs Junction.

Came to Deschutes River. Had a talk with some of the other folks in the wagon train.

The ice looks like it will hold the wagon... So across we go.

_Falman died! (cries) and now I'm over it._

"EVERYONE IS DYING BEFORE MEEEEE!" Roy cried.

March 3, 1849

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 coffee mill; 1 10-bar box of soap; 1 16-oz. box of borax; 1 4-oz. bottle of capsicum; 1 8-oz. jar of dandelion; and various other items.

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 1 box of 20 bullets; 1 16-oz. bottle of brandy; 1 8-oz. bottle of linseed oil; and various other items.

March 4, 1849

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 5-lb. sack of dried vegetables; 1 5-lb. sack of dried fruit; 2 pounds of meat.

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 box of matches; 1 12-oz. bottle of magnesia; 1 pound of bacon; 1 frying pan; 1 5-lb. sack of dried vegetables; and various other items.

March 5, 1849

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 99 pounds of meat.

March 6, 1849

Happened upon a fresh grave near The Dalles. A reminder of the hazards we all face on the this journey.

March 7, 1849

Reached McCord Creek. Strangely beautiful country.

Arrived today at Oregon City!! At last we have reached our destination! Truly this is the land of opportunity!

April 27, 1849

Obtained a land deed today from the county for 409 acres. Now I can begin to build my new life!

Final Score: 5581

April 28, 1849

In 1849, Riza Hawkeye settled on 409 acres of land in an area that would later become part of the city of Portland, Oregon.

The fortitude and determination that had served Riza Hawkeye so well on the Oregon Trail proved equally valuable in the new land, contributing to tremendous social and economic success.

Regrettably, several of Riza Hawkeye's descendants—including a major figure in an early twentieth-century government and business scandal—have managed to tarnish the family's good name.

_Damn descendants... tarnishing the Mustang name... _

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

"Wow. Roy and Riza got married." Havoc said.

_MattsyKun: By the way, I lied when I said I was doing short-stuff's Oregon trail journal. Sorry!_

_Edward: __**DON'T CALL ME SMALL!**_

_Roy: Fullmetal, please._

_Riza: I think I'm on the List of Legends!_

_MattsyKun: Congratz! You are!_

_Riza: Hooray!_

_Alphonse: Read and Review!_


	3. Edward Elric

_Welcome to the Oregon Trail! Featuring this time:_

_Edward Elric_

_Alphonse Elric_

_Colonel Roy Mustang_

_Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye_

_Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes_

_And all the other people who are not important but are on the trail anyways!_

_Standard Disclaimer Applies_

April 30, 1848

Here begins the journal of Edward Elric, formerly a banker. Tomorrow we leave Independence behind to begin our journey west to Oregon City. We must still purchase the supplies that our Conestoga wagon will hold to sustain us during our long trek.

I hope that my skill in commerce/trade will prove of some value.

May 1, 1848

Took advantage of the package deal offered to me. What a relief not to have to shop for all that individually!

Purchased 700 pounds of bacon, 80 pounds of cheese, 115 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit, 150 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables, 150 pounds of ham, 120 5-lb. tins of preserved potatoes, 10 1-lb. tins of smoked salmon.

Purchased 5 pairs of boots, 5 pairs of mittens, 5 winter coats, 5 winter scarves.

Purchased 5 8-oz. jars of aloe vera, 5 8-oz. bottles of alum, 5 16-oz. bottles of ammonia, 5 16-oz. boxes of borax, 5 16-oz. bottles of brandy, 5 4-oz. bottles of calomel, 3 8-oz. bottles of camomile, 3 4-oz. bottles of camphor, 5 4-oz. bottles of capsicum, 3 16-oz. bottles of castor oil, 5 8-oz. jars of dandelion, 2 8-oz. boxes of Dover's Powder, 5 8-oz. bottles of Duffy's Elixir, 5 12-oz. bottles of epsom salts, 2 8-oz. bottles of hydrogen peroxide, 5 4-oz. bottles of iodine, 5 4-oz. bottles of ipecac, 3 16-oz. bottles of isopropyl alcohol, 5 4-oz. boxes of James Fever Powder, 5 4-oz. bottles of laudanum, 2 6-oz. bottles of lecithin, 5 8-oz. bottles of linseed oil, 5 12-oz. bottles of magnesia, 5 16-oz. bottles of olive oil, 2 4-oz. bottles of peppermint, 5 4-oz. bottles of quinine, 5 4-oz. bottles of sarsaparilla, 2 6-oz. bottles of sassafras, 5 4-oz. bottles of spearmint, 5 6-oz. bottles of sulfur, 5 16-oz. bottles of turpentine, 5 gallon jugs of whiskey, 2 8-oz. bottles of witch hazel.

Purchased 19 oxen.

Purchased 2 mules.

Purchased 1 small farmwagon.

Came to Blue River.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

Rested the animals near Westport.

May 2, 1848

We were inconvenienced by a serious thunderstorm. We chose to continue as usual.

Found ourselves at New Santa Fe this day. Got a nasty splinter in my thumb, but extracted it without too much difficulty.

_Mustang was freaking out because of the thunderstorm._

"Shut up, shorty!" Roy yelled, hiding underneath the blankets.

_DON'T FREAKING CALL ME SHORT!_

May 4, 1848

The wagon train reached Lone Elm this day.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 136 pounds of meat.

I accidentally suffered a gunshot wound. We're going to clean and dress the wound.

"WHAT THE $#*( DID I JUST SAY!" MattsyKun yelled at the computer. Edward cowered.

_I'm sorry!_

"SORRY!!! I JUST SAID DON'T SHOOT YOURSELF!!!" (1)

_I cowered for a while._

May 5, 1848

I accidentally suffered a gunshot wound. We're going to clean and dress the wound.

May 19, 1848

[name] [have/has] an infection, and we're hoping to apply sulfur to wound.

Stopped at noon near Blue Mound and rested from our morning's labors.

_My wound's infected._

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Edward-san." MattsyKun said.

_That's okay._

"Will you be okay, Nii-san?" Alphonse asked.

_Yes, Al, I will._

May 21, 1848

The trail's flooded. We had to try to ford through the water.

May 24, 1848

One of our mules stepped in a hole, and we are going to butcher the animal for meat.

We salvaged 180 pounds of meat.

After much travail, we came to Kansas River.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

May 25, 1848

Passed the hundred mile mark today.

The trail brought us to Saint Mary's Mission today.

Purchased 3 boxes of 20 bullets.

Purchased 10 5-lb. tins of biscuits.

Purchased 1 hunting knife, 1 pick ax.

Purchased 4 blankets, 4 boxes of matches.

May 26, 1848

Today we passed Red Vermillion River.

May 28, 1848

Today came to Scott Spring.

June 1, 1848

The wagon train got caught in a sudden hailstorm. We decided it is best to continue as usual.

_What the hell it's a hailstorm! In June!_

"I don't understand." Roy said. Apparently hail doesn't scare him.

June 2, 1848

It's mighty hot today. We're going to continue as usual.

Traveled past Alcove Spring this afternoon.

Camped today near Big Blue River.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

June 3, 1848

Riza has cholera. I decided to administer laudanum.

_Oh, crap, Lieutenant Hawkeye has cholera. Mustang is worrying all over her._

"Edward, help!" Riza managed to say before medicine was shoved down her throat.

"I will nurse you back to health! Using the power of YOUTH!" Roy declared.

_(Is it just me or is he slightly channeling Gai from Naruto?)_

June 4, 1848

I have an infection, and we're hoping to apply sulfur to wound.

We suffered a terrible loss. Riza has died of cholera. We plan to provide a proper burial.

The weather turned mighty hot, so we're planning to continue as usual.

_There was nothing we could do for Hawkeye. Mustang's in the corner of the wagon sobbing his head off._

"WHY!!!" Roy screamed.

_Because you jinxed her, Colonel._

_Roy just looked at me and burst out crying. jeez, what a pansy. I mean, he loves her, but i never knew that much. next thing you know he'll be committing seppuku._

"I just can't take life anymore!" Roy wailed.

_COLONEL MUSTANG, DON'T!!!!!! NO GOING EMO!!!_

June 5, 1848

It's mighty hot today. We're going to continue as usual.

Saw some Indians in the distance not far from St. Joseph Road Junction. No incident, but some concern.

June 10, 1848

Bad storm today--rain, wind, and lightning something fierce! We decided to continue as usual.

_Mustang went scrambling underneath the blankets again because of the thunderstorm. Jeez, this guy has problems with this trail. it doesn't' seem to like him._

June 21, 1848

[name] [have/has] an infection, and we're hoping to apply sulfur to wound.

Every day our journey comes closer to its end. Today we made it to The Narrows.

July 2, 1848

Today our labors were rewarded with the sight of "The Coast of Nebraska".

July 3, 1848

Sore feet today, but I'll manage. Saw Fort Kearny.

Traded 1 5-lb. tin of biscuits for 1 fishing pole.

Purchased 3 30-foot lengths of chain.

Purchased 1 saw, 4 water kegs.

Purchased 5 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 110 pounds of meat.

_I didn't shoot myself! Some of Riza's talent with guns has rubbed off on me!_

"You're not that clumsy anymore, sprout." Roy said.

_Shut up, Colonel_.

July 5, 1848

We found some wild fruit and decided to stop and gather fruit.

We gathered 11 pounds.

July 6, 1848

Terrible fog during the early part of the day. We chose to continue as usual.

July 7, 1848

We laid by today near Plum Creek.

July 9, 1848

We endured an extremely severe thunderstorm today. We decided to continue as usual.

_Once again, Mustang's under the blankets. Hughes has been trying to calm him, but..._

"WAAAAAAAGHHHH!"

"Calm down, Roy."

_...it hasn't been working that well._

July 13, 1848

A severe thunderstorm made travel difficult today. We figured we would continue as usual.

_...I don't need to tell you what happened to Mustang, do I?_

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

_Mustang, calm down... (sweatdrop)_

July 16, 1848

A mighty severe thunderstorm came up. We're going to continue as usual.

_...you know the deal._

July 20, 1848

Reached O'Fallon's Bluffs.

July 25, 1848

Passed South Platte River about noon.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 36 pounds of bacon; 1 box of 20 bullets; 4 pounds of coffee beans; and various other items.

_Oh, crap, we lost BACON!!! NOOO! BACON!!!_

"It's just some bacon." Al said.

"Hey, it's almost the Colonel's birthday!" Huges pointed out.

July 26, 1848

Passed the five hundred mile mark today.

July 27, 1848

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 10 pounds of bacon; 2 pounds of coffee beans; 1 5-lb. sack of dried fruit; 1 4-oz. bottle of iodine; and various other items.

July 28, 1848

We tipped the wagon and lost 12 pounds of bacon; 1 kettle; 2 4-oz. bottles of laudanum; 1 box of matches; 10 pounds of pemmican; and various other items.

Nooned late today not far from Ash Hollow.

_HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COLONEL MUSTANG!!!_

_We had a huge party. it was really fun. Mustang only wished that Riza could be here with him. Oh, well._

July 30, 1848

_Okay, how long have I been freaking bleeding and in pain!!! FOREVAH!!_

"Calm down, Nii-san, or you'll open your wounds." Al said.

_Sigh..._

July 31, 1848

I have an infection, and we're hoping to apply sulfur to wound.

_Okay, this is seriously NOT FUNNY._

August 2, 1848

We'll continue, despite the eternal mosquitoes.

Camped today near Courthouse and Jail Rocks.

August 3, 1848

Saw some Indians in the distance not far from Chimney Rock. No incident, but some concern.

August 5, 1848

Passed Scotts Bluff today.

Found a clean, well-formed ox skull a short ways from Robidoux Pass Trading Post; tempted to take it with me, but decided against it.

Purchased 45 pounds of salt pork.

Purchased 12 boxes of matches, 3 10-bar boxes of soap.

Purchased 1 pound of salt pork.

Purchased 2 25-lb. kegs of gunpowder, 1 hammer, 9 10-lb. sacks of salt, 1 shotgun.

August 6, 1848

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 209 pounds of meat.

_I'm getting better all the time at hunting._

_This isn't fair. only me and Hawkeye have gotten sick, and she died. this isn't fair! WAAAAH_!

August 9, 1848

We have been traveling for 100 days, today.

Our path was blocked by a prairie fire, and we decided to continue as usual.

Spotted a group of strangers. We decided to wait to see what they do.

They approached us and we talked.

_COLONEL MUSTANG! Did you start that prairie fire_?

"No..." Roy said with shifty eyes.

_Sigh... you did, didn't you._

"Alright, fine, I did."

_Weirdo person..._

August 10, 1848

Reached another prominent landmark today: Laramie River.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

Made it to Fort John.

Purchased 1 ax, 1 butcher knife, 3 30-foot lengths of rope, 1 washboard.

Purchased 12 pounds of cheese, 28 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables, 80 pounds of ham, 90 20-lb. sacks of potatoes.

Purchased 1 box of 20 bullets, 1 pistol, 4 10-lb. sacks of shot.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 12 pounds of meat.

_Okay, the shotgun SUCKS._

August 11, 1848

Passed Register Cliff today.

August 12, 1848

August 14, 1848

The weather turned mighty hot, so we're planning to continue as usual.

August 15, 1848

The weather turned mighty hot, so we're planning to continue as usual.

August 16, 1848

The weather turned mighty hot, so we're planning to continue as usual.

_Oh, my god, I'm not bleeding or anything! I'M SO HAPPY! PARTAY!!!_

August 17, 1848

Reached Ayers Natural Bridge.

August 19, 1848

August 21, 1848

We spotted a group of strangers and decided it would be best to wait to see what they do.

They moved on.

August 23, 1848

Had a pleasant talk with Miss Whitney today in the vicinity of North Platte River.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

We rested a while not far from Mormon Ferry Trading Post.

August 24, 1848

Saw Emigrant Gap today.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 110 pounds of meat.

August 25, 1848

We found some wild vegetables and decided to stop and gather vegetables.

We gathered 14 pounds.

Passed Willow Springs today.

August 27, 1848

Confounded mosquitoes! There's no end to them! We'll continue.

August 28, 1848

Today we reached Independence Rock.

August 29, 1848

Heard news of a murder and hanging last night near Devil's Gate. Enough to send shivers down one's spine.

August 30, 1848

Came to Split Rock. Had a talk with some of the other folks in the wagon train.

August 31, 1848

We found some wild vegetables and decided to stop and gather vegetables.

We gathered 2 pounds.

September 1, 1848

For a time today we feared we were lost. We were much relieved to find ourselves at an identifiable location, Three Crossings.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 188 pounds of meat.

September 2, 1848

Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to continue as usual.

One of our oxen got caught in quicksand, and I decided to try to rescue the animal.

We were successful.

Got a late start; passed Sweetwater River.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to continue as usual.

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 2 10-lb. sacks of dried beans; 2 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit; 1 5-lb. sack of dried vegetables; and various other items.

Hughes gave us a good scare by coming close to drowning. I decided to continue.

_oh, no! An animal got caught in the quicksand! Mustang thinks it was the work of an alchemist. come to think of it..._

_Oh, no! Hughes almost drowned!!! We will rest here._

September 3, 1848

Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to continue as usual.

One of our wagon wheels broke. We have to try to repair it.

We were unable to make the repair.

We were able to replace it from supplies.

We endured a most unpleasant sandstorm today. We decided to slow down.

September 4, 1848

Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to continue as usual.

September 5, 1848

Found some quicksand ahead. I decided to continue as usual.

One of our wagon axles broke, and I decided to try to repair it.

We were successful.

September 6, 1848

Just heard that there's quicksand ahead. Looks like we'll continue as usual.

Sore feet today, but I'll manage. Saw Ice Spring Slough.

September 10, 1848

Passed Final Sweetwater River Crossing. Road fair to middling.

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

September 11, 1848

This morning it was very foggy. We decided to continue as usual.

_Fog, shmog. We're going._

"But what if we go off a cliff, Nii-san?" Alphonse asked.

_We're not going to._

September 12, 1848

The fog was awful this morning. We decided to continue as usual.

Sang and told stories around the noon campfire near South Pass.

Rested for a time near Pacific Springs.

September 13, 1848

The trail continues to provide wonders and surprises! Today we made it to Dry Sandy.

September 14, 1848

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

Commenced early today; saw "Parting of the Ways".

September 15, 1848

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near Haystack Butte. I suspect he cheats. 

_If I ever catch him cheating, I'll transmute his ass to hell and back!_

September 16, 1848

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

September 17, 1848

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

September 18, 1848

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

September 19, 1848

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

stupid dust.

September 20, 1848

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

Terrible fog during the early part of the day. We chose to continue as usual.

Saw a grave dug up by wolves near Green River--bones scattered about. A most distressing sight!

Caulk the wagon and float it across, that is the way to go.

September 21, 1848

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

September 22, 1848

Passed the thousand mile mark today!

One of our oxen stepped in a hole, and we are going to butcher the animal for meat.

We salvaged 184 pounds of meat.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 160 pounds of meat.

_Oh, yeah, I brought down a bear with Riza's gun!_

September 23, 1848

September 24, 1848

Sore feet today, but I'll manage. Saw Branley Pass.

Sore feet today, but I'll manage. Saw Emigrant Spring.

Traded 1 mule for 1 spare wagon tongue.

Traded 7 10-lb. sacks of sugar for 2 spare wagon wheels.

Traded 42 dollars for 1 rifle.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 197 pounds of meat.

_DOESN'T ANYBODY HAVE A GOD-DAMNED RIFLE?!?!?!_

_Guard People: we do!_

_That doesn't count._

_Finally we have a rifle!_

September 26, 1848

Terrible fog during the early part of the day. We chose to continue as usual.

Arrived at West End of the Sublette Cutoff.

September 28, 1848

Nooned at Thomas Fork.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

September 29, 1848

Nooned near Smith's Trading Post.

Purchased 2 boxes of 20 bullets.

Purchased 90 pounds of bacon, 70 pounds of pemmican, 60 pounds of salt pork.

October 1, 1848

Saw Soda Springs, sight is most reassuring.

October 2, 1848

There was a wedding in camp today not far from Sheep Rock. A joyous occasion in the wilderness!

October 4, 1848

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

October 5, 1848

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

We found an abandoned wagon. We decided to search it for something useful.

We found: 1 kettle; 1 pitchfork.

_Heeey, we found a pitchfork. Cool._

"Roy, put that down before you poke an eye out." Hughes said.

"Quiet, Maes. I won't." Roy said smugly.

October 6, 1848

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

The fog was awful this morning. We decided to continue as usual.

October 7, 1848

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

October 8, 1848

We're nearly choking on the dust of the trail. We've decided to continue as usual.

October 9, 1848

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

October 10, 1848

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

Terrible fog during the early part of the day. We chose to continue as usual.

October 11, 1848

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

Saw an empty wagon abandoned on the trail today near Fort Hall. If it could talk, what stories it might tell!

Purchased 2 oxen.

Purchased 1 spare ox yoke.

Purchased 10 pounds of celery, 50 pounds of ham, 10 20-lb. sacks of potatoes, 65 pounds of salt pork.

Purchased 2 spare wagon axles.

_I just realized that Roy and Alphonse have not gotten sick yet. It's a little scary, but what the hell. as long as they don't die, it's all good!_

_This sucks. At every fort we've been to, the prices on stuf gets higher and higher! Don't we get an Alchemist's Discount or something? HUH?_

"I don't think so." Roy said dissapointedly.

October 12, 1848

The dust from other wagons has gotten bad. We decided to continue as usual.

October 13, 1848

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

Today's wind whipped up a terrible duststorm. We shall continue as usual.

October 14, 1848

We hope for some rain to settle the dust. For the time being, we'll continue as usual.

October 15, 1848

Commenced early today; saw American Falls.

October 17, 1848

We spotted a group of strangers and decided it would be best to continue at a distance.

_I don't wanna talk to no strangers. Too troublesome_.

October 18, 1848

Saw Raft River today.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

October 19, 1848

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 6 10-lb. sacks of dried beans; 2 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit; 2 4-oz. bottles of iodine; and various other items.

Encamped a while near California Trail Junction.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 139 pounds of meat.

October 23, 1848

It was extremely foggy early today. We figured it was best to continue as usual.

October 25, 1848

Today we drove our wagons and teams past Caldron Linn.

October 28, 1848

Played cards with Mr. Tillman today while nooning near Rock Creek. I suspect he cheats.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 box of 20 bullets; 1 10-lb. sack of dried beans; 3 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit; 1 5-lb. sack of dried vegetables; and various other items.

November 3, 1848

Hughes gave us a good scare by coming close to drowning. I decided to rest here awhile.

_Hughes almost drowned... again! You would think HE would know how to swim. I can understand the Colonel, but HUGHES?!_

November 6, 1848

Passed Kanaka Rapids.

Sang and told stories around the noon campfire near Thousand Springs.

Saw buzzards circling today not too far from Upper Salmon Falls. If I were superstitious, I'd call it a bad omen.

November 8, 1848

_In a minute the cold will be setting in. That will be the worst part of the journey, because we will have to face snowstorms and such. At least Mustang can melt us out, though._

"I will do no such thing." Roy said stubbornly.

_You would do it if Hawkeye was still around_.

Roy wilted. "Fine..."

November 10, 1848

Got as far as Three Islands today.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 95 pounds of meat.

November 13, 1848

Heard some gunfire in the distance near Bruneau Sand Dunes. Much concern all around.

November 15, 1848

Misplaced my guidebook at Bruneau River today. Luckily we found it before leaving.

Decided to caulk the wagon and float it across.

November 17, 1848

Will this journey never end! Today we have traveled for 200 days.

Sang and told stories around the noon campfire near Castle Butte.

November 18, 1848

Hughes suffered a sprain. We'll immobilize affected joint.

_What's going on here? Roy and Alphonse haven't gotten sick yet! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!_

November 20, 1848

From our guidebook, estimated we would reach Givens Hot Springs today, and sure enough, there it was!

November 21, 1848

_Here's the snow. it's getting colder, and there will be less to hunt. I hope we can make it through... we can, with Colonel Roy Mustang on our side!_

"Whoo." Roy said.

November 24, 1848

Our wagon tongue broke, and we decided to try to repair it.

We were unable to make the repair.

We were able to replace it from supplies.

November 26, 1848

Had a lengthy chat with Mr. Lumare today near East Cow Hollow.

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 78 pounds of meat.

November 27, 1848

Saw a mountain lion not far from Lytle Pass.

Today our labors were rewarded with the sight of Malheur River.

The ice looks like it will hold the wagon... So across we go.

November 28, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

November 29, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

November 30, 1848

Our expectations of reaching Farewell Bend were fulfilled this day.

December 2, 1848

Camped today near Burnt River Canyon.

December 3, 1848

Our path was blocked by fallen rocks on the trail. We decided to try to clear the path.

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

Alphonse has a sprain. I decided it is best to immobilize affected joint.

_NOO! BROTHER!!_

December 4, 1848

The other wagons are churning up thick dust. We're going to continue as usual.

December 5, 1848

The eternal dust of the wagons ahead of us is most troublesome. We will continue as usual.

December 6, 1848

_Okay, now the only person to get sick is Mustang._

"Hey are you wishing bad luck on me?" Roy said, annoyed.

_Uh, no?_

December 7, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

We rested a while not far from Flagstaff Hill.

December 8, 1848

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

December 9, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

December 11, 1848

The trail brought us to Grande Ronde River today.

The ice looks like it will hold the wagon... So across we go.

December 12, 1848

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 3 pounds of pemmican; 2 sets of clothing; 4 5-lb. sacks of dried fruit; and various other items.

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 5-lb. sack of dried vegetables; 1 pound of pemmican; 1 pair of socks; 1 5-lb. sack of dried fruit; and various other items.

December 13, 1848

We stopped along the trail to hunt. We obtained 78 pounds of meat.

December 15, 1848

Found a clean, well-formed ox skull a short ways from Emigrant Springs; tempted to take it with me, but decided against it.

December 16, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

Came to Deadman Pass.

December 17, 1848

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

Nooned near Doe Canyon.

December 18, 1848

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

Misplaced my guidebook at Umatilla Valley today. Luckily we found it before leaving.

December 19, 1848

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

Near Umatilla River, had a wagon train meeting to discuss our current circumstances.

Not much else to do, but cross our fingers, and hope the ice holds.

Traveled past Trail Junction at the Umatilla River this afternoon.

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

December 20, 1848

Alphonse came down with cholera. We've got to administer laudanum.

_NOO! Koushin (little brother)! I'm afraid there's nothing we can do._

_But we can try!_

January 2, 1849

_Oh, my god! He survived! YAY! (glomps onto Alphonse)_

"Nii-san!" Alphonse said happily.

January 3, 1849

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

Misplaced my guidebook at Echo Meadows today. Luckily we found it before leaving.

January 5, 1849

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

January 6, 1849

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

January 7, 1849

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

We laid by today near Four Mile Canyon.

January 8, 1849

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

_Mustang, are you using alchemy to make sure you don't get sick?_

"Actually, no." Roy said confusedly. (Is that a word?)

January 9, 1849

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

January 10, 1849

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

Reached McDonald Ford of the John Day River about noon--about time!

Not much else to do, but cross our fingers, and hope the ice holds.

January 11, 1849

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

January 12, 1849

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

_We will continue as usual because we have ROY MUSTANG_!

Roy struck a heroic pose like the guy on the bottle of Captain Morgan Liquor.

January 13, 1849

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

January 14, 1849

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

January 15, 1849

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

January 16, 1849

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

January 17, 1849

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

January 18, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

January 19, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

January 20, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

January 21, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

January 22, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

January 23, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

January 24, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

January 25, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

January 26, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

January 27, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

_... ROY GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!!!_

January 28, 1849

With such cold weather, Hughes has frostbite. At this time, I will gradually warm affected area.

Arrived at Biggs Junction.

Had a bit of a run-in with another wagon party today near Deschutes River, but we patched up our differences before nightfall.

The ice looks like it will hold the wagon... So across we go.

January 29, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

It is mighty cold today. We're going to continue as usual.

We tipped the wagon and lost 1 10-bar box of soap; 1 tin plate; 1 5-lb. sack of dried vegetables; 3 5-lb. tins of preserved potatoes; and various other items.

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

The weather turned very cold, and I decided to continue as usual.

Our wagon tipped over. We lost 1 8-oz. jar of aloe vera; 4 pounds of pemmican; 1 set of clothing; 1 skillet; 4 5-lb. sacks of dried vegetables; and various other items.

January 30, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

January 31, 1849

The wagon train has become snowbound. We're going to try to continue as usual.

February 1, 1849

The wagon train is snowbound, and I've decided to try to continue as usual.

We got caught in a blizzard. I reckon we'll wait for conditions to improve.

February 4, 1849

Sang and told stories around the noon campfire near The Dalles.

While rafting, we lost 2 8-oz. jars of aloe vera; 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 1 box of 20 bullets; 1 coffee mill; 2 10-lb. sacks of dried beans; and various other items.

For a time today we feared we were lost. We were much relieved to find ourselves at an identifiable location, McCord Creek.

_OMG RAFTING DOWN THE COUMBIA IS SCARY!!!_

February 9, 1849

While rafting, we lost 1 8-oz. jar of aloe vera; 1 8-oz. bottle of alum; 1 10-lb. sack of dried beans; 2 boxes of matches; and various other items.

Our wagon tipped over while rafting. We lost 1 8-oz. jar of aloe vera; 1 box of 20 bullets; 1 pound of pemmican; 3 sets of clothing; 1 10-bar box of soap; and various other items.

Arrived today at Oregon City!! At last we have reached our destination! Truly this is the land of opportunity!

_Oh, my god, we have finally made it! and Roy never got sick once!_

"I wonder why." Roy said, confused.

_Riza would be proud, Mustang._

May 7, 1849

Obtained a land deed today from the county for 309 acres. Now I can begin to build my new life!

Final Score: 3592

May 8, 1849

In 1849, Edward Elric settled on 309 acres of land in an area that would later become part of the city of Portland, Oregon.

Despite some early success, unfortunate business decisions led to unexpected financial hardships. Still, Edward Elric managed to endure.

During the late 1800s, Edward Elric wrote a best-selling book about experiences on the Oregon Trail and, widely recognized as a prominent pioneer, became a popular guest speaker at civic ceremonies and luncheons.

(1) This seriously happened. I screamed at my computer "WHAT THE [censor] DID I JUST SAY!?!?!?!" It was funny.


End file.
